Almost 5 Months

Well, once again despite all of my best intentions to be better about my blog, I plum forgot about it!  Now in my own defense, I got me a youngin' and therefor I've been pretty forgetful as of late, but I'm trying to be better about writing things down.... hopefully here in my blog!
Though over 4 months have passed I honestly can only say that I am madly in love with my sweet new baby, as I am of course with my oldest son and my wonderful hubby. And Webbie! :)    I just really can't believe that it is almost Christmas! Where has the time gone! 

My Baby Has Arrived!!!!

I can't believe it, but my beautiful baby is finally here!!  Jackson Charles! He is so adorable and sweet and he smells amazing and he is just so beautiful! He looks so much like Troy, it's awesome!  :)  Right now he is sleeping next to me on my bed, making sweet little sleeping noises and I am so madly in love!  :)  I can't believe he is here!
I went in to the hospital last Friday, the 22nd, and as they prepped me for surgery, I started laboring and having contractions. They got to between 5 and 6 minutes apart, so Jackson was coming that day no matter what!  The surgery went really well- the frightening part was that the umbilical cord was wrapped around Jack's neck so it was scary, but they got it off of him quickly and out he came. The staff at the hospital were wonderful that day, and the painful part was when the spinal epidural wore off- they took a half hour to give me my morphine so I was in literal agony during that time. But once they gave it to me, I was doing better.
My Mom came here to be with us and help takecare of Colten-she brought him to the hospital and he got to see his new baby brother right away! Troy's parents were there before the surgery and everyone was so excited once he was born and safely resting in the nursery! Troy's Grandmother came as well, and she got to hold her great grandson.  :)
The staff at the hospital were 95% wonderful- my 2nd and half of third day was awful. I was more than ready to get the heck out of there as soon as possible.  My doctor however, was fantastic across the board- Dr. Clark- he was awesome!  The nurses treated me like crap. I don't know what the difference was- the day of my surgery, everyone was as kind and thoughtful and sweet as could be! I was delighted to be there and my experience was fantastic. Then as soon as it was over, the following day they treated me like a lepor- either they avoided me completely, or were snotty and rude to me when they did show up. It was really bizarre and I was very dissapointed. 
So, coming home was wonderful!  Now here we are a few weeks later (I can't even believe he's 3 weeks old now!)- and I am still pretty sore, but getting more and more back to normal. I am ready to feel like myself again, get back to walking some and being able to play with Colten easier.  I'm excited to be recovered.  I hope it is soon.   :)  
I have to tell the world that my husband is the most amazing man on the face of the Earth!  He has held down the fort like you wouldn't believe- he's done everything for me and the boys, helped out my Mom while she was here and shuttled back and forth between the hospital and home, done all the chores as I was unable to, and just basically reminded me how very blessed and lucky I am to have him.  :)
Now, I'm going to go rest...... 

7 Weeks To Go!

Wow, inexcusable that I haven't been keeping up with this since March, but here I am.... I'm sitting in a comfy arm chair with my beautiful son, waiting for my 2nd beautiful son to arrive, though I have just over 7 weeks left of my pregnancy- honestly, I'm ready.  I'm very ready.   I do like being pregnant, just not as much at this late stage; I am sore, tired all the time, physically exhausted doing even the simplest of tasks and now I've entered the "what the heck is my problem" stage, where I am dropping everything I touch, forgetting things left and right, and on top of it all, I'm nesting. Yes, nesting. Like a mama bird, I'm out of control!  I am collecting things for my baby chick like you wouldn't believe!! I have been collecting packages of diapers and wipes, as well as going through our trailer and gathering Colten's baby clothes and toys and random baby necessities. The baby-bag is already packed and ready to go, and I believe I am mostly prepared.... I hope.
Now, emotionally.... that is a different question. I am nervous, I am not going to lie. We are used to being a family of 4 (including Webster), and now it will be 5 and I pray that I am up to the challenge. There are a few people who keep going out of their way to make sure they tell me how difficult and hard and frustrating it's going to be, now I have NO idea what I'm in for and to brace myself, blah, blah, blah.  And I'm over it, I really am. I don't appreciate people encouraging me to get freaked out and worried about this joyous occasion!  I am excited about having a second child and I'm looking forward to all the love and happiness it will bring to our family. I am praying that Colten will adjust well and fall in love with his new baby brother! 
All in all, I'm just ready to go. I got diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes this time (I didn't have it with Colten), so that has been a bit of a challenge, but we're pressing forward and trying to eat well and make healthful choices so that things go smoothly. I've only gained 14 lbs this whole pregnancy, which is a miracle since I gained quite ALOT last time.So I am proud of myself for that and trying to keep up the good work.
I'll keep you posted! Ok, I'll try, I promise!   :)

Farewell Big Love (Spoiler Alert)

Last night we said goodbye to my all time favorite television family, the Henricksons..... it was a series finale that I won't forget, and by far the best one I have ever seen. It broke my heart. I don't even know how to explain it without sounding like a psycho weirdo, but I honestly loved these characters, what they stood for (for the most part), and the fundamental love of family that was so prevalent throughout the series. I felt like I knew these people, particularly because I am familiar with the LDS church and individuals in my life who's own love of family really reflects that of these main characters. I grew up with them, so I feel like I already know Bill and Barb- Nicki, not so much and Margene, kind of in a way. But wow, I felt like I was in a mild state of mourning last night. I sobbed. Honestly sobbed.
I knew that something bad was coming.... last week when Alby came after Bill in the capitol and drew his gun, I thought that was it.  Or the beginning of 'it.'  But I had no idea what was coming. None of us did. That is the telling of amazing writers and a fantastic show. So much is predictable on t.v. these days, but this wasn't. And to me it makes sense. I know that Carl just snapped. He'd tried to be a true blue Mormon, live a good life and pay his tithing, do what was expected of him. Thenit turned out that he and his wife couldn't have children, lhe lost his wife and his job.... but then there was Bill, content in his "sin" of polygamy, yet becoming a senator and had 3 beautiful wives and 8 (or rather 9) children.  Carl just finally lost it.  But I still cannot believe that Bill is gone. In my heart, it had to be that really he did survive, even though we know and can plainly see at the end, that he did not.
It sincerely broke my heart to see him sitting at that table, gazing that the women he loved more than anything still together and loving one another nearly a year after his passing. But it was the moment when he asked Barb to give him a blessing that really hit me. I watched with tears streaming down my face when he finally acknowledged her divine equality with him, her right to give a blessing as he lay dying in her arms. Whew. Getting choked up here again.
The only thing that I did not like about this final episode was Margene.  I was really dissapointed how when all the wives were taking the drive in Barb's new car, and she told Barb to just go pick up Bill and keep on driving, therefore leaving her children behind. And at the end, it showed her getting ready to leave on another service trip without her kids for 3 months, and having to be reminded to call as she barely did so on her last trips. It was really sad that her character could be like that at the end.... Trying to live a more giving life, and yet being so terribly selfish. I'd loved Margene from the begining, but these last two seasons and especially this last episode, tarnished her to me.
And before you say anything, YES, I know it's just a show but I am telling you, they reeled me in after the 1st year and never let go. 
I miss them already. I miss the houses and the decorations, how warm and inviting they were, (very similar to how I'd always planned to decorate my own house some day, which I thought was cool right off the bat). I miss the music, oh how I miss the music. I miss the love between Bill and Barb most of all. How they had the "affair" and fell in love all over again after almost 18 years of marriage. I miss how no matter how opinionated and principled Bill was from the beginning, and mostly after the last two seasons, he loved his family above everything else and did it all for them, I really believe that. Sure, he did seem very self-important there at the end, but to him the most imporant thing was his family. Though all of their individual unhappinesses really seemed to make that difficult there at the end.

Anyway.... I just needed to write, I haven't posted anything on here in longer than I'd planned to so I thought I would take this opportunity to post my tribute to Big Love- the best show there ever was.

Half Way There

Well, I've now reached the halfway point in my pregnancy and I am very excited! And I have news......

IT'S A BOY!!!!    :)     Yep, God has blessed our little family with another precious baby boy and I am over the moon!  So happy, so happy!  :)    Troy was fist-pumping the air and I had tears just streaming down my face! She said it was a boy and I lost it- for two reasons:  the first is, I get to have another son!!  And the second it, my mother's intuition is officially defective!  I thought Colten was a girl, but I was wrong. Ok.  But this time, there was no doubt, I would have put money on it that baby was a girl..... nope!  LOL, I don't get it, I don't understand how I was so wrong, but I am happier than I could ever express in words!  I cannot wait to meet my little man!  We need a name, obviously, and we have a few in mind but nothing for certain just yet.  We'll let ya know!  :)

I Miss Alabama

I knew that I would miss our life back in Alabama when we found out we were moving.... but while we were there (much longer than we'd thought), I became more and more ready to move on. And I wanted to badly to get sent back here to NC. Now that we are here, boy.... do I miss Fort Rucker. I love it here, please don't get me wrong, and I really love that we are so close to Coco's Grandparents, but today for some reason, I feel very home sick.  Maybe it is the change in the weather, that it feels like Spring here today. The warm air, I don't know. I miss my old house. I miss waking up and padding out to the living room, curling up on the couch with my hot chocolate and watching Webster freak out over the squirrels on our bird feeder. I miss the way the sun hit our walls in the late afternoon. Troy would get home from work in his uniform and we'd often grill out for dinner. I miss taking our evening family walk around our neighborhood. We would stop at the Bark Park so Webs could play with the other doggies, and he loved it so much! Colten would curl up in our arms and a blankie, and we'd watch Classical Baby as the sun started dipping down behind the trees. After Colten went to sleep sometimes I would hook up Webs on his leash and go for another mini-walk to watch the sunset and see the colors in the sky. It was so beautiful there at night. I miss it. Gosh, I miss it there alot today, maybe it is the hormones running through me like crazy today, maybe it really is the weather. But as much as I love finally being here in North Carolina, I really miss AL, and the first home I shared with my husband and our growing family.
Here, it was my Dad's home. He isn't here anymore. The house needs a lot of work and financially, we are just ready to sell. But there are no buyers now and it's frustrating, but I'm sure it will sell in it's own time. I guess I just don't feel settled here because we know we plan to leave at some point. But the highlight though of being here, is that I am expecting our second child, and that makes it a joyous place above anything else. We get to see Troy's parents every week which is wonderful and lots of fun for all of us, especially little C. He loves them so much, and it is such a joy watching him with them playing and just being with them! :) 
I think I'll feel more settled when the weather really changes, and stays changed. Even as I sit here writing the sun is fading behind a wall of dark clouds. I think rain is coming. And it's been a very cold winter.... I have loved firing up our fireplace almost every night, but the cold seeps into everything, and it is so expensive with the electric baseboard heating. Over $400 last month.  But even still, every day brings us closer to warmer weather. I will enjoy my wonderful fireplace as long as I can.  :)

A Quiet Night

While my husband is intensely watching the Duke/Carolina game on t.v. in the living room, I thought I would take my leave and retire to our room, light my new lavender candle (a gift from my hubby and son today) and just take some time for quiet. Though we live here in the country where it is almost always quiet, save for the train whistles from down the road a piece, it is nice sometimes to just have a little time at night to just reflect. 
It is supposed to be snowing tonight, maybe up to 5 inches in some places, but so far all we have is rain. For a Virginia girl, this is hard, because when I head that snow is headed me way I instinctively get all excited and relaxed at the same time. I love snow. I really love snow. So when I get that last minute email update from the Weather Channel cancelling our Winter Weather Warning, I cry a little inside. It sucks!!!! I am hoping for the best, but honestly I'm not holding my breath. We've been cancelled around here a lot lately, so I'll be excited when I see a white blanket outside in the morning.
In Virginia growing up, snow meant a lot of things to me. First and foremost as a child it meant the beloved SNOW DAY! No school, hot chocolate all day long and play time outside with my neighborhood friends! We would go back and explore the woods behind my house and look for little hills we could sled down, dodging trees and whatnot until we were so tired we feared we'd get lost finding our way home!  As an adult (sort of), snow again meant SNOW DAY- a glorious day off of my job as an after school program supervisor and sleeping in, more hot chocolate all day long, and sewing a quilt while curled up on my couch, candles lit and a good movie on the tube. And watching the snow fall outside for hours.
There is something so beautiful about snow.  
Sigh....   here I am, getting my hopes up again.....   I guess we'll see.

Big Love

What can I say, I am a die-hard Big Love fan. I mean beyond the average, "yeah, that's a great show."  No.  I am crazy in love with this show.
 I really can't explain it, there is something so special about these characters, I feel so attached to them after following them for so many years, , their trials and tribulations. I can identify with them so much because though I am a Baha'i, I was raised primarily around LDS families. none of them were Polygamous, but many of the fundamental beliefs, mannerisms and traditions are what I grew up around for most of my life. In a weirdo way I feel like I know these people.
Now it is the final season, and I can't take it- it's heartbreaking. I think I could have handled it better if they'd ended things last year, it was pure chaos. Truly a mess, the whole season was.  It was such a mess, in fact, that it almost caused me to forget the family I'd fallen in love with in the first place. They were so different and less than delightfully bizarre.

 But not any more.

Finally, FINALLY they have come back. Almost like a long lost friend, here are my Hendricksons , the writers brought them back to life and back to the original meaning of the show. Family and love. That's what it has always been about, until the drama became more important for whatever reason, be it ratings, keeping up with True Blood, I don't know what happened. Over the years, the episodes took place less and less inside any of their homes, and more everywhere else imaginable. But so far, in the two incredible episodes that we've had in this our parting season, I see how they have brought them back to the core principle (pardon the pun) of Big Love- the family. My major was in Family Studies and dynamics, so I have a strong interest in these issues of family in all shapes and forms. I am absolutely fascinated with this show, it has opened my eyes to a lot of things I'd never thought about or considered before. That is the mark of a wonderful program, and one that I wish more than anything would stay. I know there is no changing that fact that this is the last season for Big Love.... but for now all I can do is just love it and look forward to every Sunday I have with them. Boy, am I going to miss it.

Baby bun a-bakin'

Well, I am 13 weeks and 1 day pregnant, and I am growing (in more ways than one) more and more excited with each passing day!  I am starting to show, which is wonderful, and the 1st trimester nausea and ickiness seems to have passed, but we shall see. My poor Mom was sick when she was carrying me for nearly the whole 9 months, so I am not counting the tummy aches gone just yet.
Only about 6 or 7 weeks to go before we find out if we are having a little girl, or another little boy. I don't have any preference either way, all I pray for every day is that he or she is healthy and safe. I don't have any thoughts either, via intuition, as to which I may be carrying- I thought my son was going to be a girl, so I think my intuition may need a bit of tweaking!  I feel this time that the baby is a girl also, so I guess we'll see!  :)

A Loss of Power

It is one of the coldest days we've had since we moved here, in my opinion, and all I can say is thank Goodness for a fireplace! A power wire in town melted in half and fell to the ground, catching the grass below on fire and causeing our street to lose all power! It was unbelievably cold, and as I said, I am so grateful that we have our fireplace because it kept us warm for hours into a dark night before it finally came back on.
 And even as I write this I feel so shallow and spoiled. I imagine how cold I was, and then I am reminded that there are families who not only do not have a fireplace on days and nights like these, but who haven't even a home to live in. We are so blessed, and I wish there was something I could do, especially when I step outside and have a coat to wear and so many other comforts to ease any winter discomfort. And there are so many people who don't have anything.  It really puts things into perspective, I tell you.
I also think about my love of history, where were no electric heaters, only the warm glow of candles and fireplaces, woodstoves and outside barrels. And yet I complain about the cold....

A BUN IN THE OVEN!!!!

Yep, it's true!!!!  I'm expecting my second child and I am so excited!!!!  10 weeks along and (hopefully) past the morning sickness stage- it rears it's head every once in a while, but today was good.  Cravings are getting delightfully weird, I love it- Kalamata olives and Bunny Tracks ice cream! So awesome!
Not much else to report now, but will try to be more active on here- I keep saying that, and then keep failing, but I'll continue to work on it!    :)